An Open Letter To The Red Sox Pitching Staff

Alright everyone, time to take a look in the mirror and ask yourself this question: Is my name Jonathon Papelbon or Curt Schilling? If the answer to this question is no, you are fired. Please pack your things and be out of the country by the end of the day, because you suck.

P.S. Doug Mirabelli can die in a fire. We need Varitek off the DL right fucking now.